Holy Days Special #1 — Jungle Justice

I’m just a plainspoken Colorado criminal defense lawyer, but the way I see it…

Breathes there the boy with soul so dead, who never to himself hath said, “This is my own, my native land!”

The natives of my early childhood lived in jungles, and the boy I wanted to be was, coincidentally, Boy, of the Johnny Weissmuller Tarzan movies. In the movies, Tarzan never cracked a book, and Jane, who had cracked many, deferentially allowed her mate to christen their foundling.

I eventually outgrew my Boyhood.

The actor who played Boy, Johnny Sheffield, never did. He starred in twenty-eight films, nearly all of them barefoot in the jungle. The last was in 1955. Six years ago, he died after a fall from a ladder. After all that vine-swinging.

You may not be able to catch a vine, but you can catch one of his films, for free, here. Still there’s a price: it starts in the middle, the aspect ratio is all wrong, and it’s in French, no subtitles.

But, it’s Boy. In the jungle. In a loincloth. They don’t ‘low no loincloths in court.