Moore or Less

Here Come Da Judge


I’m just a plainspoken Colorado criminal defense lawyer, but the way I see it…

At a recent political rally, Alabama’s Roy Moore waved a tiny little gun around to show his support for the Second Amendment.

Turns out that’s not the first time he waved a tiny little weapon around inappropriately. More and more women are revealing that when the candidate for the United States Senate was in his thirties he sexually assaulted, abused, or just tried to hit on them when they were in their teens. Fourteen to sixteen seemed to be his preferred window of opportunity, the shopping mall his preferred hunting ground.

That Roy Moore is singlehandedly turning the Republicans who haven’t yet rejected him into the preferred party of pedophiles is actually the least disturbing quality of the only political candidate I’ve ever heard referred to outside the Middle East as “a lawless theocratic lunatic.”

This is the same Roy Moore who says homosexuals should be locked up. The same Roy Moore who says Muslims ought not be allowed to run for office. Same Roy Moore who says 9/11 was God’s punishment. Roy Moore says there’s no such thing as evolution, and thinking about him I can almost believe that’s true. Roy Moore still celebrates Alabama’s secession from the United States. Calls Native Americans “reds” and folks of Asian ancestry “yellows” (you’ll never guess what he calls African-Americans, and it’s not a color). Believes Hawaii is part of Kenya. But maybe all this is to the good, because the President of the United States says Roy Moore “sounds like a really great guy.”

The United States Senate is known as the World’s Greatest Deliberative Body. Roy Moore might have deliberated just a little longer about whether he ought to try to join it.


Subscribe to our e-mail newsletter to receive updates.

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply